palace in exile

my heart is a palace in exile
bricks crumbling at my feet
as i stand on new ground
different and yet the same
i wander about
docile and tame
i choke when i think of years lost
to the past
i see clearly and focus
but how long will that last
if i don't find a purpose
a meaning a way
if i stay stagnant
and brilliant
how long will it stay
this feeling of knowing
of magic of play
and i remember the dance
as i challenge the trance
for theres no reason to stay here
lots of reasons to move on
a gypsy i am
never wanting to stand still
i sit here staring restlessly
out at the sea
wondering where will i go
wondering where will i be...

wasabe hearts

where did they go
wasabe hearts breathless dreams
i walk these last miles clueless
or so it seems
where do i go from here
lost in global confrontation
no steering wheels in sight
i challenge myself
to stop fussing and take flight
but here i stand
an island if you will
i stand like a statue
so calmly so still

i see you

beside the road where the hot valley sun burns
i see scattered about, desperate people
with no where to go-
and it may not be hell
but im sure that its close from the stories they tell...
what happens to their hearts when they loose all the dreams
what happens to their will when all is lost so it seems
i am lost not knowing what to do
and i cant keep from looking
and i see you looking too
we fly by in our cars on our bikes in planes
hearing whispers seeing shadows feeling tears knowing shame
all of our reasons why this happens not the same
why people loose their way become litter and dust
when dreams become nightmares and laws become sin
and this is the world in which we are in

licking our wounds like dogs dumped in the sun

on roads paved with rediculous stupidity

we were prisoners of our past

and prophets to our future

marching on with unknown dreams

our toes touch the beginning of the world

and we learn to dance

you and i

hoping we didnt forget how to laugh

our stomachs raw from the smell of sadness

our little hearts begin with a chuckle

and sometimes we are startled

by our unwoven sounds

calm sometimes in shadows we know

but fear all the same

we try and remember

why it is we came

and little soldiers all dressed up

we go on to destinations

unknown and uncharted

brave and forgotten

sometimes lost sometimes found

forever to our dreams we are eternally bound

i am calm now that i have learned to love you

even tho you tryed to kill me

i even love your soft white skin

as it fades with age

and dies within

i have finally learned to love myself

inspite of the years and years of knowing

how wrong i was

that is what you taught me

you taught me i wasnt right

being who i was

but i am here now

and i forgive you

even tho you tryed to kill me

sisters

helicopter trees
sideways shadows
and skinned up knees
children hiding with forbidden elves
strange and mysterious findings
on dark and dusty shelves
mothers empty and warm embrace
i run i hide from her frowning face
grab my sister and outside we run
and play with nature in the sun
she is the light she is a star
i love her now as i did then...
we sort out memories we sort out fears
we hold each other we mop up tears
watching the sea as we loose the years
we fought for ourselves and ran for our lives
knowing that, we stand at the sea-
feeling proud, that we learned to be free

she is distant and alone

my mother rips the world from my mouth and tells me it is forbidden. it is the first time she has spoken in 21 days. who is this woman? she is starving me. i tasted the moon last night, will she know?